This article was originally published on TVBee
Some people aren't the sharpest tools in the shed, but their hearts are in the right place so we can give them a pass. Other people are so dumb that we fear for their safety, or stupid in a way that's actually harmful to others. We have a harder time forgiving these imbeciles, especially when their actions make the world a worse place to live. We don't like to be mean but in a society full of conspiracy theories and misinformation, sometimes all we can do is laugh. Read on for some of the worst offenders.
A Fine Example of Logic
Is this guy okay? Rock Hudson was married to a woman at one point, so the "no luck with the ladies" thing doesn't track. Plus, what's to guarantee he would have had any more luck with men? For a good part of his life, homosexuality was considered a crime - why would he take such a big risk, especially as a public figure, when he probably could have had any woman he wanted?
And don't get us started on the logic behind lesbianism. Has he never seen a straight woman wear non-high-heeled shoes before? Heels are uncomfortable, whatever type of arches someone has.
What's Your Point?
First of all, her point doesn't even make sense. Is the media trying to control people, or is the media being controlled? Even if we were to give her the benefit of the doubt, why on earth would whoever is behind this want to out themselves this way? Surely, their goal is to stay in control. Revealing their motives through stupid anagrams seems like a bad way to stay in power.
At least the people who replied seem to get it. Sorry, Lavern, no one's evil plan is getting foiled by your top-notch detective work, but by all means, please keep trying.
Get Your Priorities Straight
Now, that's an idea. What kind of world do we live in where a child with cancer needs to use his Make-A-Wish for something that the adults around him should already be handling? Like, kudos to the kid, it's amazing that he did this, but how many times have we heard that the problem of homelessness is unsolvable? Clearly, feeding the homeless is not that difficult with a little effort.
We can learn a lot from children. It'd be amazing if they gave this kid a second wish that he could enjoy for himself, but that's probably a pipe dream.
One Unhappy Passenger
Oh great, a 2-for-1! This genius decided to cheat on his wife and keep evidence of his affairs on his phone, and sure, maybe she shouldn't have gone through it without his permission, but seriously, who is the one really at fault here? We don't blame her for being upset, that said, we'd also like to know what made her respond so badly that they couldn't fly the plane to its final destination.
The moral of the story: don't cheat on your partner. The other passengers couldn't have been happy about having to make an emergency landing for such a stupid, avoidable reason.
Chef Boyardon't
Thank you, original poster for your culinary insights. We have to ask - if hard-shell tacos are your preference, what are you doing buying tortillas anyway? Why add this totally unnecessary extra step? Just buy the hard shells from the store and be done with it. This doesn't even seem like it would actually work. Hard taco shells are made with fried corn, and soft tortillas like these are made with flour.
That said, @its_zaac's response was still funny. They may not be exactly the same thing, but it's still a good point. Nobody's sitting around with tortillas wondering how to make them more crunchy.
Word to the Unwise
Stupid might not be the best word to describe what's happening here. Selfish? Inhumane? Those seem a bit more accurate. In general, we like to celebrate others' successes, but this is just so inconsiderate. No one should be looking at the deaths of others this way, but we guess it's par for the course of the last few years. Maybe, just maybe, we need to reevaluate our priorities as a society.
We can't even put all the blame on the Rolls-Royce CEO here. 'People' should not have published this, at least not in any way that comes off as so celebratory.
Don't Have Kids
Some people really just shouldn't be parents. Seriously, imagine screwing up so badly that Child Protective Services feels it's in their best interest to remove your children from your home, and the first thing you do is make a YOUTUBE VIDEO OF YOURSELVES EATING A HUGE TRAY OF SEAFOOD. Sorry, lost our cool there for a second, this is just so absurd it's almost unbelievable. Anything for the clicks, we guess.
We'd like to make a motion to instate a blanket ban on family vlogging. Even when the titles are clickbait, the parents are still putting fame over the actual wellbeing of their children.
He Said What?!
Can we just like, all agree that Nazis are bad? Why has that become such a controversial take? No one wants to have to think about the painful past, but if we ignore history, we're doomed to repeat it. This senator's statement reeks of deflection and really suggests an "All Lives Matter" vibe. Of course all lives matter, but in this case, we're talking about the lives of a specific group of persecuted people.
This is not a situation where all perspectives are equally valid. You don't get to pick and choose what you'd like to believe here. Even Germany is honest when they teach about this subject.
Lighten Up, Sir.
Way to kill the vibe, dude. The designation of what's considered professional or not is so arbitrary; as long as the emojis aren't offensive or inappropriate, who cares if someone includes them as long as it doesn't interfere with their work? Corporate culture takes all the fun out of everything but then fills their offices with snacks and thinks that should be enough to make people want to be there. Keep smiling, Adam.
We move to have "smiley faces" be considered acceptable in the workplace. Bring your dog, wear your pajamas, whatever, as long as you get your work done. Corporate culture needs to go.
Where's the Lie?
We love a good Spongebob meme and this one tells the truth. Has anyone really stopped to think about why there's such a labor shortage in the US, or are we all just going to continue to keep pulling a Patrick and ignore what's right in front of us? People aren't just sitting at home watching TV, laughing it up while you complain about not being served your mayonnaise fast enough, Karen.
Employers also often demand way too much for what they offer. No one wants to have to be at some company's beck and call 24/7 for a stupid $7.25 an hour.
He Speaketh the Truth
Most of us grew up going to D.A.R.E. assemblies during school, but in retrospect, did they really do any good? We were warned about the dangers of drugs constantly, and sure, there are some drugs that should definitely be avoided, but even alcohol is considerably more dangerous than weed when it comes to health and public safety. Why was so much effort put into trying to make us afraid of it?
As soon as it became clear that it could be a source of revenue, the government seemed to do a 180, and now weed dispensaries are popping up all over.
Leave a Voicemail
This guy must have been a millennial, and we honestly can't judge. While it was stupid of him to not answer his phone, it's unlikely that anyone over the age of 40 would have ignored the calls during a situation like this. Chalk it up to our anxiety around talking to strangers, we're a product of years hiding behind a screen. He was probably afraid it was a sales call.
We're curious about what happened to him after 24 hours. Did he finally decide to answer his phone, or did the rescuers get lucky and find him where he was?
You Need to Calm Down
Okay lady, dramatic, much? Sure, masks are annoying, but we can't help but think that being this bothered by them must be a cover for some deeper issues. PTSD is an actual medical diagnosis, not something you can just claim from having been mildly inconvenienced by a paper mask for a few months. She's probably someone who refers to people who actually take the proper precautions against illness as "snowflakes."
Also, what's she going to do if suddenly Arizona decides to implement a mask requirement? Move states every few weeks to avoid wearing a mask? Who even has the resources for this?
Wait Til They Find Out Where Milk Comes From...
We just facepalmed so hard it left a mark on our foreheads. Where do people think these things come from? Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was just a book, people! Animal products don't just fall from the sky! If you're going to eat eggs, by all means, you do you, but denying that they come out of a living animal is insane. They come out of chickens whether you witness it or not.
Even worse, this person doesn't realize that they're actually missing out. Fresh eggs from well taken care of chickens are so much better than the ones from the grocery store.
Where Does It Say That?
We're not religious, but something tells us there is a low chance that this exact thing was written anywhere in the bible. For starters, isn't Jesus, like, always depicted as having long hair? So it's okay for him, but for any other man, their hair has to be short? And what is this about a woman submitting to her husband? Surely, God has more important things to worry about than this?
We just can't help but think that God doesn't mind men with long hair and women with short hair. At the end of the day, what counts the most is whether one is a good person, right? We have a feeling that the hair rules were meant as a suggestion.
So, Which Is It?
Sorry dude, but you don't get to pick and choose what comes from science and what comes from God just to support your own weird agenda. Believe in whatever religious figure you want, but at least be consistent. If human immune systems really were created by such an all-powerful being, what does it say about that being that we were able to create a virus that's able to get around it?
We'd guess that this person doesn't even understand how an immune system actually works. Hint: there's a lot of science involved. Honestly, there's no arguing with these highly educated Facebook scholars.
At Least She's Honest
A tip: If you're going to ask for help sourcing disputed information, maybe don't mention that you're "not smart enough to retain what you've read." If you can't even remember enough to back up your beliefs, you're probably not smart enough to decipher what's a valid source. We get it, science can be hard to understand, but that's exactly why we should be turning to those who do understand it.
Also, the audacity of this woman. She doesn't even know why she believes what she believes, and yet she still seems to think that she knows better than her husband.
Orange-You-Glad There's No Blood in This Fruit?
What is it with these people? Even if there were some weird cabal with a "huge underground human harvesting factory," why would the people who run said factory want to out themselves? Jupiter Ascending was a sci-fi MOVIE, definitely not a reputable source of information. Even if there were such a place, why would its purpose be to put blood in our oranges? At least pull a Sweeney-Todd and go for meat pies.
Just because you're unfamiliar with something doesn't mean it's inherently suspicious. Blood oranges are delicious and a great source of vitamin C. But by all means, avoid them. More for us.
You're Missing Out, Man.
What a sad, sad life this guy must lead to having such disdain for babies and puppies. We honestly feel a little bad for him, but at the end of the day, this is 100% a case of deeply fragile masculinity. Are you really that threatened by something so small and cute that you prefer they stay away from you until they're ready to "serve and obey?" Come on, man.
The truth is, this guy's got it all backward. Someone who's really secure in themself can play with puppies all day and at no point feel like they're "not man enough."
You Sit On a Throne of Lies
We'll say it again: just because you don't understand how something was made, that doesn't mean you're being "lied to." What does the person who posted this even mean? Obviously, horses didn't construct this building, how would they even hold hammers with their hooves? It's entirely possible that this cathedral was built in 1248, we're not talking thousands of years ago. They had the technology to build things like this.
It would also be a weird thing to lie about. Sure, history is often warped and things are omitted, but what would be the purpose of lying about the year this cathedral was built?
That's Not How This Works
*Sigh.* Sorry lady but that's not what "quarantine" means. You don't get to go out and endanger people just because staying home is inconvenient for you. Stay home and order your groceries online. It's literally the least you can do. That, and wearing a freaking mask, although not wearing one is probably how she got sick in the first place. But who cares, right? It's not like she can get sick twice.
These people just don't seem to look at those in the service industry as actual living, breathing humans. They're just there to serve, like robots or something. Being sick around them doesn't count.
But You Haven't Even Seen It
Tell us you're a crap human without telling us you're a crap human. Seriously, do these people care about anyone but themselves? What a miserable life this person must lead, to be so threatened by anything that doesn't look, sound, or think just like them. He hasn't even given the music a chance before making the statement "I bet they suck." We bet you think mayonnaise is spicy, good sir.
This is just another example of fragile masculinity. Even if it wasn't a man who posted this, how insecure do you have to be to hate on something you haven't even seen?
What Has the World Come to?
Stop the planet, we want to get off. Capitalism has gone too far, what kind of world do we live in where giving out supplies to homeless people should ever be considered a crime? Is this actually against the law? What is the point in making this kind of thing illegal? It shouldn't cost anything to just be nice, and that seems like what this person was trying to do.
No one should be punished for simply trying to help. Ignoring a problem won't make it won't go away. You don't solve homelessness by punishing those who take the time to acknowledge it.
On Today's Episode of "Women Are Incubators"
What did you say? Sorry, all of the women here didn't hear you, we're too busy making toast. Seriously, what the h*** kind of logic is this? Newsflash dude, women are humans with actual brains, and they're capable of much more than just having kids. Not wanting to have children does not mean there's something wrong with you, "mentally or past childhood trauma." Women are not toasters designed to shoot out Pop-Tarts.
And a warning, ladies - even if having kids is something you DO want, be sure to avoid making them with this idiot. Clearly, intelligence doesn't run in his family.
Family Vlogging Gone Too Far
Another example of someone who just shouldn't be a parent. No matter what Oliver's report card looked like, whether he got straight A's or failed every class, it's 100% not the internet's business. No one needs to know about Oliver's grades except for his parents, his teacher, and himself. There's no situation where it should end up online. Poor kid, we imagine he's going to need a lot of therapy after this.
No amount of likes should be worth the mental and emotional stability of your children. She's using his personal life to gain views. "You failed, but it's cool - we got so many clicks!"
Who's the Real Animal Here?
This whole this is wrong on so many levels. Another example of capitalism gone way too far - if we can't sell it, it's trash, even if there's someone who needs it. And while we're at it, let's belittle them by calling them names, and fire anyone who tries to step in and help. We know who the animal was in this situation, and it certainly wasn't the homeless man.
Food waste is such a huge problem in the world, there's no reason that perfectly good food should ever go in the trash. There are plenty of people who'd happily eat it.
That's NOT What Jesus Would Do
Oh, Florida, where to even start with this? 1. Isn't the main reason you love Jesus so much because he was supposed to have died for your sins? Your bumper sticker contradicts all logic. 2. Don't you believe he didn't actually die again after his resurrection; wasn't he ascended to heaven by his Father? How would a gun have even helped with this? 3. Wasn't his whole thing "Love thy neighbor?"
Shooting people isn't exactly in line with Jesus' supposed message. We doubt this person's ever actually read scripture, or at least if they have the point went over their head.
This Is Norway. Be Like Norway.
There is no secret. Their citizens pay taxes, and those taxes actually go to something that improves their quality of life rather than just an evergrowing and exorbitantly priced military-industrial complex. That's it. That's how they do it. It doesn't have to be so complicated. How did the Nordic countries end up with so much common sense? It seems like they got it all and there was none leftover for the US.
And yes, we know - their taxes are high. But how nice must it be to have so many things guaranteed to you as a result of paying those taxes?
But First, Let Me Take a Selfie
Anything for the 'Gram, right? This seems like an awful risk to take just to get a couple of likes. Even if they needed a photo for insurance purposes, it seems like the insurance company would understand if they took the photo from solid ground, rather than standing on top of the car. Also - this is a great example of why you should absolutely not drive on a frozen lake.
Also, how did they even get into that position? Were they inside the car when it broke through the ice or were they already standing on top of it outside?
Dunning–Kruger in Action
Behold, the Google-educated scholar in their natural habitat. Clearly, this person's 4th-grade education didn't take, because their post is full of grammatical errors. Who do they think is writing the information that their precious Google so readily provides? One of the most important parts of education is learning to decipher credible sources from the utter crap that the internet is full of, but don't worry! We're sure this person has "done their research."
Unfortunately, Google can't teach you critical thinking skills. We need to be putting more focus on improving the quality of education as a society, not telling children they're done learning at 10 years old.
Sir, This Is A Windows
It's hard to believe that whoever posted this wasn't being ironic because we don't even know where to begin, but we'll give it a try. 1. The photo on the left was the default computer background for the Windows XP operating system. It's not the same hill as the photo on the right. 2. Cows eat grass, and last we checked, humans don't. Who'd be more likely to go to town on this hill?
These people think that the Burger Fairy just waves a magic wand and meat magically appears at the grocery store. Eat whatever you want, but don't blame vegans for this.
They Totally Should!
Who is this person referring to when they use the word "they?" What governing body do they think has the power to just create a whole new continent when we can't even agree on how to handle climate change? What a monumental task that would be, even if it were possible. Who'd get to live there, and who would be in charge? Mr. Genius right here doesn't seem like the best choice.
We'd be surprised if there won't be a continent made of trash there within the next few years anyway, at the rate we're getting our act together as a planet.
Don't Forget Your Pets, Kids.
How did this lady make it all the way to the vet and only THEN realized that she'd forgotten her dog at home? We've heard of leaving kids in the backseat, which, by the way, you should never do, but to leave your house and go all the way to the vet without even noticing that the reason for your trip wasn't in the car with you the whole time?
We'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she had a busy and stressful morning. Still, this is quite an awkward mistake. Hopefully, she didn't live too far away.
No, Sir, I Haven't.
Not only did this customer ask a rather thoughtless question after not leaving a tip, but he had the audacity to insult the coffee shop while he was at it. You can find good coffee in almost every city. There's no way that *all of the espresso in Italy* is better than all of the coffee where they were. He just wanted an excuse to bring up having been there.
Some people just lack empathy. Consider this a lesson; when it comes to small talk, maybe don't bring up your super privileged lifestyle when making conversation with minimum wage workers?
They Call It a Royale With Cheese
Amarion is a perfect example of why an education beyond 4th grade is so, so necessary. This is such elementary-level math, and yet, seems so difficult for people to understand. Remember when they taught us that the smaller number is the one that "eats" the bigger number, or was that just in our schools? If not knowing math caused us to miss out on a burger, what else have Americans cost ourselves?
Then again, if McDonald's really wanted to sell the bigger burger, they could have just branded it under a different name. One-third pounder doesn't really roll off the tongue anyway.