This article was originally published on Kueez
1. Can 2020 Be Over Already
2020 has been a roller coaster and it is only March. We started with the Australian wildfires, then Kobe Bryant died, and now there is a world pandemic.
How much more can we handle this year? Everything for a majority of the year has been canceled, so let's just skip ahead to 2021.
2. Keep Your Hands Away From Your Face
With colds, the flu, and viruses spreading like wildfire, you mustn't touch your face. It is simple and can help you stay safe and clean in many ways.
Touching your face spreads the germs from any surface you have contacted to your face, and bacteria can get in your eyes, nose, and throat. Also, touching your face causes acne, and that is the last thing you want.
3. "Hey Buddy, Are You Still There"- Netflix
How about this, I will turn off Netflix when I am good and ready. Why is it that you can't binge 50 episodes of a show without the annoying interruption of Netflix asking if you are still watching.
There should be an option to turn off this feature. Do you hear that Netflix? We are giving you brilliant ideas for free.
4. Put More Chips In The Bag
When you open a fresh bag of chips just to realize the bag is three-quarters air with about six chips in it. You probably feel cheated by the snack company, and you are not alone.
Why pay $4 for mostly air when you can breathe it for free. Save money, breathe more.
5. Personal Hygiene Keeps You Clean
Along with not touching your face and cleaning your phone, you should also wash your hands. Washing your hands is more effective at killing germs than using hand sanitizer.
You should wash your hands for at least twenty seconds. You can sing a song like "Happy Birthday," "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," or the chorus of "Oops I Did It Again" to make sure you have washed long enough.
6. Phones Carry Millions Of Tiny Bacteria
There are germs everywhere, especially on your cellphone. Did you know that your phone has more bacteria on it than a toilet seat? Grab the alcohol wipes and start cleaning that thing.
Our phones touch so many surfaces, and then we hold them to our faces, put them in our beds, and spread the germs to every other surface. Clean your phone.
7. #StopSweetGreen2020
Sweetgreen is an American chain restaurant that makes salads, and they cost an average of $15 each. When did lettuce become so expensive?
You could make four salads at home for the price of one Sweetgreen salad. As Jimmy McMillian would say, "The price is too damn high."
8. Forever Alone
As you start to approach you mid to late-twenties, your older family members will ask you if you are in a relationship or not. It starts to get annoying to have to remind them that yes, you are still single.
It is always your adorable grandma who asks, and you don't want to be rude because you love her. But at the same time, it is a painful reminder that you still haven't mastered cuffing season.
9. Stop Being Sad, Everyone Is Stuck In Quarantine
We understand that it sucks to have to stay inside, but if it makes you feel better, everyone is stuck inside. There are no parties or vacations.
We are in this together! Stay home, and video chat with your friends. Have a virtual happy hour or watch Netflix together from sperate homes. The sooner everyone stays in their homes, the sooner this will be over.
10. Stop Saying "No Offense" Before Saying Something Offensive
When people know they are going to say something offensive, they should just not say it instead of prefacing it with "no offense."
If they even have to think about adding "no offense," it is going to be rude or hurtful to someone. It's better to keep anything offensive to yourself.
11. There Should Be Snow Days For Work
Remember when you were a child, and you got excited to get a phone call from your school saying it was a snow day. It would be nice to have the same excitement as an adult.
Unless you work as a teacher, you probably aren't getting those phone calls anymore. Even when there is snow, you have to work from home, and that is not as fun as a real snow day.
12. Please Learn The Correct Phrase
If you could care less, then why don't you? It would make more sense to say, "I couldn't care less."
Why don't people just say, "I don't care?" It is a simple solution to this age-old debate.
13. Stop Replying-All To Company Wide Emails
Kathy, no one cares about your personal issue with the policy update. Please do not reply-all for a company-wide email.
Is it anyone else's fear that they will write something personal and accidentally hit reply-all.
14. "I Totally Love The Rolling Stones"
Have you ever seen someone wearing a band t-shirt and you know for a fact they have never listened to that artist? It is funny to ask them, "so what's your favorite song by them?" To which they reply that they only got the shirt cause it looked cute.
Listen, if you are going to wear a band t-shirt, at least listen to one of their popular songs, so you don't seem like a total imposter.
15. When You Don't Know Who The Tinder Profile Belongs To
When you use a dating app, do not post a group picture. When you come across a group picture, you are probably hoping the person who is the most attractive is the one who owns the profile. Then you swipe to their next picture, and it isn't the attractive one.
Also, people will post only group pictures and then you never know who you are connecting with. Don't post group pictures, or you are setting yourself up for failure.
16. Names Are Not That Hard To Spell
Why is it that Starbucks is notorious for spelling names incorrectly? They take a simple name like Michelle, and it somehow turns into Missle. How did that happen?
There is a theory that the employees do it on purpose as a marketing tactic. Still, names aren't that hard to spell Starbucks.
17. The Phone Eats First
Have you ever been out to lunch with your friends, and they stop you from digging into your food so they can get a photo for their Instagram.
Unless you are a famous food Instagrammer like FoodGod, then no one wants to see your basic avocado toast and iced coffee.
18. No One Cares How Much You Like Drake
In 2017, Spotify started releasing "Spotify Wrapped" at the end of the year so users could see their listening stats. For some reason in 2019, everyone and their mother felt the need to screenshot their results and put it on their social media stories.
Sorry to break it to you, but no one cares if Kanye West was your top artist of the year. That means nothing to your followers.
19. Is It Worth $2.70??
Did you know that guac at Chipotle is an extra $2.70? Why are they charging you so much for a tiny scoop of avocado and spices? We want some answers.
It is also annoying when you are a regular and they feel the need to tell you every time that guac is extra as if you hadn't been there every day for the past two weeks.
20. Spends $200 Extra A Month To Watch 3 Shows
There is Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Disney+, CBS All Access, Hulu, Youtube TV, HBO Now, and many, many more. More and more shows are being taken off Netflix to be put on a more exclusive streaming service.
To keep up with all your favorite shows you have to have at least four different subscriptions. How do you remember all your passwords, or what service has what show?
21. "Post Unavailable: This Account Is Private"
Sending memes to friends on Instagram is all fun and games until you open your chat to see "Post Unavailable: This Account is Private."
If an account is private, don't send memes from them because you do not know if all your friends follow the account. And it is frustrating not to be able to laugh at what would have been a great meme.
22. May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor
People who believe in astrology are always talking about "their week being off because Mercury is in retrograde." It seems like Mercury is in retrograde all the time because people are constantly using it as an excuse.
Having a bad day? Blame it on Mercury in retrograde. Did you get in a fight with your significant other? Blame it on Mercury in retrograde. It can work for pretty much anything.
23. "HAHAHAHAH"- Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy Fallon is a late-night TV show host, and he will laugh at anything. Sometimes things aren't funny and he will still laugh.
Even when jokes are only mildly funny, Jimmy will be cackling with laughter. Maybe he is thinking about something more entertaining in his head. Let us in on the joke, Jimmy.
24. Why Is This Tik Tok On Snapchat?!
Tik Tok has taken over the internet, literally. On any social media platform, you can find people sharing Tik Toks, and people have had enough.
Tik Tok video should stay on one app. If people wanted to watch Tik Toks, they would download the app; we don't need to see them on every form of social media.
25. Seinfield Is Way Better Than Friends
Well, this is debatable. It is hard to compare the two shows because people like them for different reasons.
Honestly, Friends is way better and we are starting a protest with our own sign about it.
26. You Have Been Blocked
Have you ever been in a group chat, and two people start having a personal conversation? No one wants to get notifications about a conversation that doesn't apply to them. That is why private messaging exists.
If you are the type of person who has the one on one conversations, you will be blocked or removed from the group chat. Sorry, not sorry.
27. No One Cares About Your Daily Workout, Bethany
People love to take to social media to brag about their fitness lifestyle and progress. It can be great to see how hard people are working, but we don't need to see the same four home workouts every day on Instagram.
People will post one workout on their story and suddenly think they have turned into a fitness coach. We hate to break it to them, but no one cares.
28. Forever Alone
Valentine's Day is a holiday to celebrate love, but it sucks when you are single and have to watch couples be lovey-dovey around you.
There should be a holiday to celebrate single people around the world. Being single is great, and it should be something to celebrate.
29. Daylight Savings Makes No Sense
One day a year you wake up and you have lost an hour of sleep, and another day of the year you have gained an hour. What is the point of the time change?
Daylight savings time was initially implemented to save energy by having an extra hour of daylight, but now it doesn't save energy, and it is pointless.
30. "Spring Break #NeverLeaving"
People on spring break love to post a million pictures, especially with the caption, "never leaving." Spring break is only a week-long, Victoria; you have to leave.
We get it, most people wouldn't want to leave their tropical vacation, but you don't have to pretend like you are going to quit school and spend the rest of your life at a cheap hotel in Miami.
31. Imma Let You Drop The Album But...
Kanye West was teasing his album "Jesus is King" for way too long. He started recording it in August 2018 and was teasing fans with a September 2019 release date. In typical Kanye fashion, he ignored his original release date to play a work-in-progress listening party.
The album was supposed to be released on September 27, but the date came and went without any new music being released. Finally, on October 25, almost a month later, he finally released "Jesus is King."
32. Eat, Sleep, Breathe, Drink White Claw
White Claw is a brand of hard seltzer that has a cult-like following. People even dressed up as the cans of seltzer for Halloween. It is so loved people want it to be on tap at bars.
It would be well worth it because so many people love it. It was purchased so much last year that there was a nationwide shortage in America.
33. Are You Sure You Want To Unsubscribe?
When you want to unsubscribe from a mailing list, it is usually because you don't want to receive emails from that company anymore. So, why would they send a confirmation email which contradicts the point of you unsubscribing?
Also, why do they make it so difficult to unsubscribe? First, you have to enter your email, then tell them why you are unsubscribing, and then they want to make sure that you definitely want to unsubscribe.
34. Halloween and Thanksgiving Come First
Have you ever been walking around a mall in mid-October and you notice that Christmas decorations are already being sold. Did everyone forget that Halloween and thanksgiving come before Christmas?
Why are these stores trying to rush through the last half of the year? Let's all just take a breath and enjoy each holiday one at a time!
35. When You Need To Make Sure Everyone Sees Your Post
Do you know what is annoying? When you like someone's Instagram post, and then you go to look at their story, and the post that you just liked is on their story. It almost makes you want to unlike the picture.
Unless you are an influencer, why are you sharing your post in your story? People will see your picture, do not worry.
36. No One Cares Which Disney Character You Got
On Instagram, there is a filter that will randomly pick a Disney character that matches you. It has been a trend for people to put these on their story, and it is another thing no one else cares about.
We have to admit, some people's reactions are funny, but a majority of them are irrelevant to our lives.
37. The Middle Seat Is The Worst
The age-old debate about the middle seat getting the armrest has finally been solved by this man with a sign. He says that the middle seat should get the armrest so everyone should listen to him.
There have been many arguments that the middle seat is the worst so it should come with at least one perk, and that is the armrest.
38. Justin Would Never Shave Ricardo
For a while now, Justin Bieber has been sporting an unusual mustache. He even named it Ricardo. Many of his fans don't like it and want him to shave.
Justin has an answer to all his fans who don't like Ricardo. He is not shaving that thing any time soon.
39. Big Brother Is Listening
It is really creepy when you are having a conversation about teeth whitening, and all of a sudden your social media is mysteriously filled with ads for teeth whitening.
How are they able to legally spy on your conversations? Why do they know that you have been talking about buying a Squatty Potty??
40. No Barbara, You Aren't A Comedian
When you leave work on December 31 and say, "see you next year" to all your coworkers. While you may think it's a great joke, it isn't.
You will see your coworkers in a few days, don't give them too much excitement that you will be gone for 365 days.
41. The Commercials Are Better Than The Game
The Super Bowl is the best way to wrap up the long football season. The two teams worked incredibly hard to get to this final game, and these athletes have worked their entire careers for this game. Sadly, no one really watches the Super Bowl for the actual game. People watch for the commercials and half-time performance.
Like the athletes, companies work hard to land those coveted commercial slots and get their ads shown during the Super Bowl. Millions of people are watching, and these are some of the best commercials of the year.
42. Coming To Theaters Soon: Fast And Furious 87
Between the movies that have already been released and the one that is still being filmed, there are ten Fast and Furious movies. After Paul Walker died, they should have known that was enough.
There are too many of these movies, and the plotlines are hard to follow. It has been long enough, just end it already.
43. When You See A Story Of A Concert, Click Unfollow
Before smartphones, people would enjoy a concert without recording the entire thing. Now that Snapchat and Instagram stories are popular, you can basically watch any concert from home because someone is probably posting the entire thing.
No, Jessica, I don't want to see the entire Drake concert you went to because I can hear you singing in the background, and it ruins the song.
44. No One Needs To Follow A Separate Account For Your Dog
People take it upon themselves to make separate Instagram accounts for their dogs and then write captions from the dog's perspective.
We know Buddy doesn't know how to use a cellphone, and it is just his owner pretending to be a dog on the internet.
45. The Equivalent Of Being Left On Read
In iMessage, you can react to a message instead of replying, but you should still reply. No one likes to be left on read because it feels like you are being ignored.
Liking a message is not equivalent to a response, and everyone should know that by now.
46. #Sponsored
When all your favorite Instagrammers start doing sponsored posts, and you don't know what they like or what they are getting paid to like.
It is hard to distinguish what is an organic post and what is sponsored as you quickly scroll through your feed.
47. "We Did Not Have To Stop Working For This Announcement"
When your company has a meeting that pulled you away from important work, and you realize that everything could have been written in an email.
You would speak up to say the meeting was a waste of time, but you like your job and the money that gets deposited into your bank account.
48. "Maybe I Can Save An Extra 2 Seconds If I stand Up Now"
The door is still closed and no one is going anywhere. You will not save time by standing as soon as the plane lands.
Yes, you might need to stretch, but sit back down. You are only crowding the aisle making it harder for anyone else to get out when they need to.
49. Thanks A Lot, Dolly
Dolly Parton started the Dolly Parton challenge. It is when you post a different picture that you would use for Linked In, Tinder, Facebook, and Instagram.
Everyone and their mother started posting their Dolly Parton Challenge pictures, but it quickly got boring and overdone.